If you?re a parent of a child in school? I want to have a little conversation about box tops and how they almost ruined my life yesterday.
Do you know what those are? The little squares on boxes that if you cut them out and send them to your school your school can earn 10 cents per box top.
Love the idea and how it contributes to the schools? but let me share with you my experience from yesterday.
My wife Tricia and I volunteered this year to be box top parents. What that means is every couple of months we?ll get a nice little care package from our daughter?s class with box tops that we have to cut, count, and prepare so we can send them back for the school to submit and earn their cash.
I had never participated or experienced this before until yesterday.
My wife had a busy day yesterday so I told her I got this. Again, for all I knew I was cutting, counting, and preparing little squares? simple enough, even for me.
So I get the overstuffed packet with a piece of paper filled top to bottom with instructions in size 8 font looking more like a mission to take rocket man out of North Korea than telling me what I need to do for the box tops. I mean, we?re talking box tops here? how hard can it be?
So I begin my journey being ill informed of what I was actually supposed to do because I did the only dude thing possible and only read 11.5% of the instructions.
As I am sitting there cutting this mountain pile of box tops on my kitchen counter, I come to the realization that there are three types of parents in this world. The parents who are meticulous and cut each little box top out perfectly following the cut lines? kudos to you. The parents who apparently have no scissors in inventory so they just tear the box tops out, which means I have to go back through and cut them out per the instructions. And the parents who didn?t bother to cut or tear anything out at all, they just sent little Johnny to school with the whole damn box so he can earn his gold star and participation point for the day. Don?t be that parent.
Literally, after 3 hours of cutting and counting, I look at my hands and I thought for a moment, "Should I post a picture of the blisters on my hands and put #BoxTopCrossFit?"
Beyond this, there are these little plastic wrap box tops? those things need to just go away and never come back. They get all staticky and stick to everything other than the damn bag you?re trying to put them in so the only option to get them off is to viciously shake your hand like a 4 year old trying to flip a booger off his finger.
So I get most of them prepared in their nice little zip lock bags with 50 in each, and then my wife proceeds to say to me over the phone, ?Are you checking them for their expiration dates?? Um?. No. Seriously? WTFFML.
At this point I was just going to throw in the towel and cut a check myself to fund the school.
So I go back through each bag and I?m finding box tops that expired in 2014? yes? 2014. Come on parents, either you?re feeding your kids some old ass food or you need to clean out your junk drawer more than once every five years? either way, pull it together people.
So after my now four hours of work and still not completing the job, we had to go to a meeting and didn?t get back until 9pm. Seeing the kitchen was a disaster from this project and the job was only 75% complete, Tricia and I joined forces to get it done? we?ll probably need a marriage counselling session or two after that episode though. The struggle is real.
I don?t know if it?s the schools or the box top people who created this process but we need to get this on the next available docket and discuss box top reform because there has to be a better way? while we?re at it, let?s discuss raising the minimum wage of 10 cents per box top to something more reasonable. Good lawd do parents and teachers earn that 10 cents.
So here?s my PSA (AKA Public Service Announcement). For the love of all things fluffy and happy in this world, help the teachers and parent volunteers help your children and cut the damn box tops out, make sure they?re not expired, put 50 in per zip lock bag, and write that number and the teacher?s name on the bag. That?s it. Doing this can help save sanity, it can help save marriages, and little Johnny may just get 2 gold stars instead of 1.
Also, for the dads out there, suck up your manhood and read the instructions. They really do tell you what to do and will save countless hours of self-doubt, pain, and suffering.
And for the teachers, parent volunteers, and PTA participants? Respect.
Do you know what those are? The little squares on boxes that if you cut them out and send them to your school your school can earn 10 cents per box top.
Love the idea and how it contributes to the schools? but let me share with you my experience from yesterday.
My wife Tricia and I volunteered this year to be box top parents. What that means is every couple of months we?ll get a nice little care package from our daughter?s class with box tops that we have to cut, count, and prepare so we can send them back for the school to submit and earn their cash.
I had never participated or experienced this before until yesterday.
My wife had a busy day yesterday so I told her I got this. Again, for all I knew I was cutting, counting, and preparing little squares? simple enough, even for me.
So I get the overstuffed packet with a piece of paper filled top to bottom with instructions in size 8 font looking more like a mission to take rocket man out of North Korea than telling me what I need to do for the box tops. I mean, we?re talking box tops here? how hard can it be?
So I begin my journey being ill informed of what I was actually supposed to do because I did the only dude thing possible and only read 11.5% of the instructions.
As I am sitting there cutting this mountain pile of box tops on my kitchen counter, I come to the realization that there are three types of parents in this world. The parents who are meticulous and cut each little box top out perfectly following the cut lines? kudos to you. The parents who apparently have no scissors in inventory so they just tear the box tops out, which means I have to go back through and cut them out per the instructions. And the parents who didn?t bother to cut or tear anything out at all, they just sent little Johnny to school with the whole damn box so he can earn his gold star and participation point for the day. Don?t be that parent.
Literally, after 3 hours of cutting and counting, I look at my hands and I thought for a moment, "Should I post a picture of the blisters on my hands and put #BoxTopCrossFit?"
Beyond this, there are these little plastic wrap box tops? those things need to just go away and never come back. They get all staticky and stick to everything other than the damn bag you?re trying to put them in so the only option to get them off is to viciously shake your hand like a 4 year old trying to flip a booger off his finger.
So I get most of them prepared in their nice little zip lock bags with 50 in each, and then my wife proceeds to say to me over the phone, ?Are you checking them for their expiration dates?? Um?. No. Seriously? WTFFML.
At this point I was just going to throw in the towel and cut a check myself to fund the school.
So I go back through each bag and I?m finding box tops that expired in 2014? yes? 2014. Come on parents, either you?re feeding your kids some old ass food or you need to clean out your junk drawer more than once every five years? either way, pull it together people.
So after my now four hours of work and still not completing the job, we had to go to a meeting and didn?t get back until 9pm. Seeing the kitchen was a disaster from this project and the job was only 75% complete, Tricia and I joined forces to get it done? we?ll probably need a marriage counselling session or two after that episode though. The struggle is real.
I don?t know if it?s the schools or the box top people who created this process but we need to get this on the next available docket and discuss box top reform because there has to be a better way? while we?re at it, let?s discuss raising the minimum wage of 10 cents per box top to something more reasonable. Good lawd do parents and teachers earn that 10 cents.
So here?s my PSA (AKA Public Service Announcement). For the love of all things fluffy and happy in this world, help the teachers and parent volunteers help your children and cut the damn box tops out, make sure they?re not expired, put 50 in per zip lock bag, and write that number and the teacher?s name on the bag. That?s it. Doing this can help save sanity, it can help save marriages, and little Johnny may just get 2 gold stars instead of 1.
Also, for the dads out there, suck up your manhood and read the instructions. They really do tell you what to do and will save countless hours of self-doubt, pain, and suffering.
And for the teachers, parent volunteers, and PTA participants? Respect.